AAAAACCCCKKKK I have been having a shitty time lately! Besides my usual concerns of unemployment and lack of cable or central Air Conditioning (as well as the problems caused by my Asperger's Syndrome (I realize I've never actually mentioned I have Asperger's Syndrome on the Blog but while I was bitching it seemed like a good time to bring it up)), a persistent and ever-worsening toothache has just recently driven me, despite my lack of dental insurance or any money, to go to a dentist for (BIG SHOCK) the first time in nearly ten years.
A full course of X-Rays later and my teeth are surprisingly not all that bad off, I have about five cavities (mostly due to not flossing) and two of my wisdom teeth fell apart some years back, so we're taking all four of them out, and the tooth with the ache needs either a root canal or we can just yank the fucker (my only real concern yanking it is that my right second mandibular molar will get lonely without my right third mandibular molar and my right first mandibular molar to keep it company). My main trouble in all this (besides my irrational fear of needles, which I'm hoping they can gas me for at least the fillings) is that it's going to cost a ridiculous amount of money neither I nor my Mother has. (That's part of the reason I'm leaning toward just pulling the bad tooth, since a root canal's retardedly (FUCK YOU MSOFFICE RETARDED CAN TOO BE ADVERBALISED) expensive). Also I'm pissed they wouldn't fix it yesterday when I went, instead they gave me vicodin and now I have to wait until my mom makes me another appointment (but they only gave me four days worth and they hardly even work (which seems incongruous with the zeal that Hugh Laurie displays when popping them like Skittles (I almost said M&M's but Skittles are funnier AND they taste better))).
Plus! I can't figure out a good science fiction type story that takes place in Texas. I HAVE A GREAT JOKE INVOLVING TEXAS I WANT TO USE IN A COMIC BUT I NEED TO HAVE A STORY SET THERE TO USE IT.
Anyway, all this has dried up my energy in regards to blogging so I haven't done a proper post in the last couple of weeks (though I did enjoy doing that video and want to do another as soon as I come up with another idea for one). But while I'm here, here's a couple of things that I started writing and never made it to the Blog:
Firstly, here's a couple of predictions I wrote for a third Psychic Pete post that I never finished:
we are the spirits of prognostication and we refuse to capitalize things when we type! these are our predictions for the future that is not now but is a time later than now!
our first prediction: several very successful movies will be made about 9/11 over the years to come. the most successful will be titled simply 9/11. it will be so successful that they will make a sequel, entitled 9/12. the sequel will overshadow the success of the original film so much that a sequel will be made to the sequel, entitled 9/12 II: The Legend of Osama's Gold. this will actually lose money and the people responsible will be executed for treason.
our second prediction: that mole on your butt is cancerous. you really need to see a dermatologist.
our third prediction: hyperintelligent turkeys.
Second, here's a comment that would have been in a Tube of Boob but those probably won't be back until the Fall season starts:
IN SYNDICATION Baywatch: I caught a few minutes of the end of this episode of Baywatch (marking the land mark VERY FIRST TIME I've watched Baywatch!). I have no idea what led up to it, but they were having a ceremony to GIVE A MIDGET A MEDAL! GO SHORT MAN! YOU GET THAT MEDAL!
Finally, at some point a while back I decided I was going to tell people my terrible secret but only got a few paragraphs into my letter of confession:
To whom it may concern:
I, the Great Joe Bivins, have been living a lie. Yes, that's right, I have been lying to you non-existent people. It has been a great burden for me keeping these terrible secrets all this time, and now I believe I am finally able to let the truth out: I am not of this Earth.
I am from Planet 10, which orbits a star on the other side of this galaxy. Like all inhabitants of Planet 10, I am made up of a green gaseous substance. In my true form I appear to be a floating green haze, but we have the technology to mimic your primitive form.
I have been sent to this planet by the supreme rulers of the Empire of 10, the Overlords, in order to do research for our upcoming invasion of your planet and subsequent subjugation of your race. You will become our slaves, the strongest of you will be transported to various mines on planets across the galaxy where they will work until they are dead (but have full medical and dental care and will receive annual bonuses on 10-Mas, which is the holiest day in the 10-ian calendar). Those of you who show an aptitude for certain trades will be trained in a profession and forced to join the union. The more interesting members of your race will be used in the entertainment industry so as to improve the quality of the Imperial Television Network (500 million channels and not one reality show!) Those of you who fit none of these categories will be sent to the office complexes on Gamma-7, where you will sit in confining cubicles and perform tedious tasks and conform to a strict code of dress (those of you in this category would be best advised to kill yourselves to avoid this eventuality).
Okay! Before I sign off I just want to give a shout out to all the Weezer fans who've shown up here looking for a review of the Red Album! Please join me in hoping that Weezer's next album isn't so sucky and that the real Rivers Cuomo returns from outer space (along with the original Karl Koch (NOBODY REMEMBERS THAT JOKE BUT ME MWAH HA HA)).
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Okay I have to go now, about forty five minutes ago I accidentally bit down on something with my bad tooth and now I think I'm going to go kill myself IT HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH. GOD DAMNIT. I WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO FIX THIS YEARS AGO IF WE HAD UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IN THIS FUCKING COUNTRY.
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