I'm definitely bringing a marker with me from now on so I can write "Boners Ahoy" on the wall of every restroom I'm in. People will be like:
"'Boners ahoy?' Have I inadvertently chosen to make dookies in a secret gay sex lair?!?"
And then they'll scream and run away because THEY FEAR THE GAY MOUSTACHE POWERS!!!!
The Leather Man has THREE MOUSTACHES!!!!! THEY WILL FEAST UPON YOUR BONERS!!!!
Black and White Declarations of Dignity August 21st, 2008
Me sending someone an actual letter in THIRTY EASY STEPS:
1. Acquire currency.
(2. Get transportation.) This step is currently unnecessary as the Post Office is not that far away.
3. Go to Post Office.
4. Buy stamps and envelopes.
5. Make a friend.
6. Get friend's address.
7. Think of something relevant to write to my friend about.
8. Mull it all over.
9. Pizza break!
10. Nap.
11. Watch Star Trek.
12. Use computer to type letter. (There's no way in hell I could handwrite it.)
13. Edit out my rambling incoherence.
14. Spel Chek.
15. PRINT!
16. Address envelope with my shitty handwriting (making sure to make it clear enough for the mail-person to read it.)
17. Apply stamps (asking someone ahead of time what the current postage is).
18. Put letter in envelope and seal.
19. Be grossed out from licking the glue EEEEEEWWWWWW.
20. Put shoes on.
21. Put shirt on.
22. Put pants on.
(23. Underpants optional.)
24. Go outside.
25. Put letter in mailbox.
26. Mail carrier takes letter and postal system gets it to my friend.
27. Friend reads letter, is creeped out.
28. WE'RE NO LONGER FRIENDS.
29. MILKSHAKE TIME!!!
30. Go to sleep.
Mr. Rosenberg:
When can we expect the first Good Hitler film to hit theaters in our universe? Those of us in the audience (I speak for everyone even though I have not conferred with anyone else on this) are very much interested in the prospect of the Good Hitler franchise being brought into the real world. From your fine comics it is clear that these films are epic blockbusters with a refreshing touch of wackiness.
Please respond with press release announcing start of production on Quantum of Hitlers.
Regards,
Reverend Doctor The Great Joe Bivins, LRS (Licensed Rocket Surgeon)
The Tome of Gary August 20th, 2008
Wait...so the moon ISN'T made of cheese?
CURSED SCIENCE!!!!!
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1 comments about my hair.:
Joe, there is already a good Hitler film out there: Springtime for Hitler.
Also, I like how the optional underpants come after the pants. That'll be real stylish. ;-)
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