Halloweeny Blog!

Here's an interesting trend I'm having: I keep almost Twittering and then Blogging instead when I realize I have enough crap in my head to justify a whole blog post!

My Mom insisted on giving the little girls across the street candy today even though they weren't wearing costumes AND THAT'S ILLEGAL MOTHER I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE AUTHORITIES I THINK THE PENALTY IS PROBABLY DEATH. I demanded she explain how they were wearing costumes (because you don't actually have to wear a costume if you can bullshit a costume off the top of your head) and she said "They're dressed as Mexicans." and THAT'S RACIST MOTHER YOU ARE A DIRTY RACIST. AND YOUR PERM LOOKS RIDICULOUS I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE PERMED YOUR HAIR IT IS TOO SHORT AND THIN. I ALSO TOLD YOU NOT TO BUY HALLOWEEN CANDY BECAUSE NO ONE TRICK OR TREATS IN CRAPPY NEIGHBORHOODS LIKE OURS THEY GO TO BIG RICH NEIGHBORHOODS 'CAUSE THEY HAVE GOOD CANDY. AND I WAS RIGHT WASN'T I? YES WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY EXCEPT THOSE TWO LITTLE GIRLS WHO WERE BOTH APPARENTLY HANNAH MONTANA WHICH MAKES NO SENSE ONE OF THEM SHOULD HAVE BEEN WEARING A GOATEE AND SHE WOULD BE HANNAH'S EVIL TWIN. MUCH BETTER.

I ated too much fast food and now I'm all gassy and stuffed UGGGHHHH. Oh the struggles to maintain my big fat ass YOU THIN PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT WITH YOUR HEALTHY EATING HABITS AND ABILITY TO GO UP STAIRS WITHOUT HYPERVENTILATING.

Actually I think the stair thing happens because I forget to breathe when I'm focused on something and I get vertigo on stairs (I also have crappy balance), which causes me to focus on keeping my feet from getting caught under the rims of the stairs (I can't remember when but I'm positive that's happened to me before and I do recall it sucking extra hard). It (forgetting to breathe) was first pointed out to be when I would be doing math tests and hold in breaths for a really long time then eventually exhale loudly. And no one realized I had a mental disorder until last year. Go figure.