One More for November!

The following post will be entirely in guttural grunting noises:

ARRRRRGGGGHHH GGRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AAAAAACCCCCCKKK!!!!!!

Okay but not really. I have to write a paper for philosophy class today, but I just can't find my muse (I left out a can of tuna for her and everything DAMN YOU FURRY BITCH YES MY MUSE IS FURRY). It's probably because I spend all the classes paying zero attention while working on other projects and/or pondering the nature of reality, which while that may seem relevant to the subject matter I'm saving it for a book I'm writing (also I'm not even close to being done with that, I just have some random ideas about sandcastles and universes within universes).

I need to hook up my printer soon so I don't finally do it at 3 AM to discover it's broken and thusly will I be screwed.

How about this: Napoleon Dynamite II: Napoleon IN SPACE.

IT PRACTICALLY WRITES ITSELF. THAT ONE'S FREE PEOPLE LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN!

I actually do have numchucks.

I've been meaning to do a blog about the Presidents concert I went to the week of the election. I've had much of it rolling around in my head since I was composing it at the show.

The other day I was in the Guitar Center and someone had apparently been running a fog machine over in the PA and Keyboard section so when I went back there it looked like there was a fire that everybody was just ignoring. Then I went to see Synecdoche, New York and it was surprisingly appropriate.

I was hoping to get my whole Christmas comic done this weekend but that didn't work out. It's almost completely written though and I drew the first page (I spent an obscenely long time on the title page with questionable results).

Okay, but Alaska Still Sucks

You know, I feel like I'm supposed to be enthusiastic. That was never an option. I don't have an enthusiastic bone left in my body (I used to have them but several years ago I was diagnosed with Enthusiastic Marrow Toxicity (EMTox) and I had to have all the enthusiastic bones removed (they tried just irradiating them but it just gave me superpowers (I can telepathically communicate with cats...not that that's useful))).

But seriously, we have borne witness to HISTORY MOTHER FUCKERS. But when you look back on this election, what will you remember? 'Cause I know exactly what I'll remember: SARAH FUCKING PALIN (Oh yes, that is her real middle name). That woman will continue to lurk in the darkest corners of my psyche for the rest of my life, occasionally jumping out to shoot at anything that moves. What's worse, there's always the fear that those RETARDS WHO ACTUALLY VOTE FOR REPUBLICANS might actually get her the nomination in 2012 so FUCKING SHIT WE MAY HAVE TO FIGHT WITH HER AGAIN IN FOUR YEARS!!! And SERIOUSLY ALASKA 80% APPROVAL RATING?!? FUCK YOU IGLOO-DWELLING HICKS. I still can't figure it out. At least you don't get to join our club!

But hey! There's a new club Florida joined! THE HOMO HATIN' STATES CLUB! I was all ready to apologize to my neighbors for screwing up in 2000 and going red again in 2004 since we swung the other way this time, but then somehow or another we BANNED GAY MARRIAGE. That's not accurate, Gay Marriage was already illegal, but we wanted to get in on the Homo Hatin' party too so we DOUBLE BANNED IT! Now if you're gay in the state of Florida and you try to gay marry they TAZE YOU REPEATEDLY! And if you try to adopt children they TAZE YOUR ADOPTED CHILDREN! REPEATEDLY! Then they send the kids off to one of those camps that's supposed to cure the gay because having been tangentially connected to you the kids will obviously be rendered SUPER-DUPER-MEGA-ULTRA-HYPER-GAY! So, y'know, Florida: YOU STILL SUCK. I HATE YOU. IF I SEE YOU ON THE BUS DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.

Now to be honest, I'm not too surprised that Florida passed the Amendment to Taze the Queers, what did surprise me is that CALIFORNIA BANNED GAY MARRIAGE. THE PINKO LIBERAL QUEER CAPITAL OF THE WEST COAST SHOT DOWN MR. SULU'S RIGHT TO MARRY HIS MAN-FRIEND. I don't mean to be flip about this, 'cause it PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF, you guys know I'm a Trekkie and so obviously I hold Mr. Takei at the highest esteem and was very happy for him when he got to marry his space boyfriend. But now beyond ALL REASON, they have stripped that right those fairies fought so hard for! I'm downright INDIGNANT!

So I guess what I'm saying is: I won't be satisfied until we actually have warp drive and are exploring the galaxy. GET ON IT YOU NASA FUCKS.