Today I want to tell you about the lost Stolen JPEG Theatre series, The Mysterious Doctor StrangeDuck. You may remember Stolen JPEG Theatre as the home of Norweigan Forest Cat in Space! and The Internet Avenger. Well one day, as often happens, I heard something on the news that was unintentionally ridiculously hilarious. This story about a duck who the universe is clearly out to get inspired a news anchor to say this bizarre sentence before cutting to a commercial break: "A Tallahassee duck may have found the key to immortality." That, I said to myself, HAS to be a comic. So I wrote a bunch of nonsense, gathered a bunch of pictures, wrote a bunch more nonsense, cobbled some of the pictures together, drew some nonsense, wrote some more nonsense, then lost interest. I did work on this one for quite a while but no decent ideas ever transpired. I almost incorporated my ideas for this comic into Project COOKIEPUSS but then that comic got all serious on me and I also decided it was getting a bit crowded with junk from other failed projects. Anyway, here are the scripts I wrote for the first and second episodes as well as a summary of the third episode (I don't know remember it starts with Episode IV, it might be because I thought the first story started in a weird place and didn't want to do any of the stuff that would have happened before it or maybe I was just making a Star Wars joke):
The Mysterious Doctor StrangeDuck: Born to ducks kept in the private zoo of England's foremost mystic and sorcerer, Doctor StrangeDuck has spent his life learning the ways of magic and studying the paranormal in all its forms, in a never-ending quest for ultimate power!
PART IV: The Duck That Would Not Die!
"A Tallahassee duck may have found the key to immortality." Finally catching up with Perky, the fabled duck that cannot die, Doctor StrangeDuck now listens intently at Perky's tale explaining her power of immortality, while secretly planning to steal the power for himself!
PERKY (caption): I was flying south for the winter when I stopped at a pond to get something to eat.
PERKY (caption): I noticed some of the animals around the pond had a strange glowing aura, and a trail of puddles of similarly glowing water was leading off into the woods.
PERKY (caption): Inquisitive sort of duck that I am, I followed the trail.
PERKY (caption): Soon I came upon a man-made fountain in a clearing, the water in it shining like a star. I dove into the fountain, drank the water, swam in it, flapped my wings about in glee.
PERKY (caption): Overtaken by a strange euphoria, I flew high up in the air, spinning and twirling like a stunt plane!
PERKY (caption): It was at this point I got shot.
PERKY (caption): I was unconscious for the next part, but I woke up in a refrigerator, seemingly mortally wounded but not dead. What's more, I felt no pain.
PERKY (caption): After what seemed like hours, a woman opened the refrigerator, and discovering that I lived, brought me here.
PERKY (caption): Seemingly out of danger, but no, a botched operation sent me to death's door again, but again I was spared.
PERKY: And that's the point where you came in.
DOCTOR (thought caption): OF COURSE! She must've stumbled on the Fountain of Youth, the fabled font of immortality whose legend drove my ancestor, the great explorer Juan Extraño de Pato, quacking mad!
DOCTOR (thought caption): He wasted his entire life searching for it, then whined about it on his deathbed until his wife finally strangled him out of frustration!
DOCTOR: Perky, do you think you could find this fountain again?
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
PART V: The Quack for Life Eternal!
Perky, the Duck that cannot die, is leading Doctor StrangeDuck, Mallard Master of the Mystic Arts, to the fabled Fountain of Youth, which she discovered quite by accident before gaining immortality from its waters! The good Doctor plans to partake as well, becoming immortal and vastly increasing his already formidable power!
PERKY: We're getting closer, Doctor!
DOCTOR (thought caption): Yes! This is where my ancestor, Juan Extraño de Pato, finally theorized the Fountain should be! ULTIMATE POWER WILL SOON BE MINE!
PERKY: Did you just say something about "Ultimate Power"?
DOCTOR: Ummm...just remembering an old song, you know the one:
Ultimate Power tra la la!!
Fish Bananas, Old Pajamas
Mutton Beef and Trout!
PERKY: Never heard it, sounds strange!
DOCTOR: Well, they don't call me StrangeDuck for nothing!
PERKY: Well, here's the pond, the Fountain should be just around the bend.
DOCTOR (upon seeing the fountain): MAGNIFICENT!
The good Doctor dives straight into the Fountain, greedily drinking the water and swimming gleefully. Soon, though, he submerges and stays under for a distressingly long time!
PERKY: Doctor? Are you okay under there?
DOCTOR (emerging from beneath the water, suddenly mutated into a cartoonish duck-man): AAAAAAFFFFFFLAAAACCC!!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
PART VI: Revenge is a Dish Best Served A L'Orange!
Wherein Doctor StrangeDuck deals with his recent anthropomorphization and he and Perky part ways; the good Doctor setting off on a quest for veangeance against his nemesis (NAME NOT DECIDED)!
So initially the idea was that this was going to be a Stolen JPEG Theatre, which if you don't already know or were too lazy to click those links at the top, were comics made entirely of images lifted from Google Image Searches. These are kind of severely complicated to put together and I'm not really sure why I ever bothered with them. I did end up making some of the first episode in this style:
And though I didn't get around to the part that has him in it, I designed the Stolen JPEG version of the good Doctor:
At the end of writing the second episode, though I had the idea that Doctor Strangeduck would become an anthropomorphic duck instead of a proper duck. I set about designing this, and having some trouble initially I used one of those tutorials that teaches you how to draw Daffy Duck and altered this method to lead to this result:
Complete with photoshop magic stuff! At this point for some reason I decided I wouldn't want to draw it entirely on the computer and turned to my sketchbook, resulting in these sketches:
And that was that. The ideas dried up and I abandoned it, eventually moving on to Joe Bivins: Man Genius, which is going strong by the way. GOING STRONG.
Next time on Satan's Evil Square presents "Comics I Gave Up On", read the enthralling tale of a monkey with a loaded gun! Hard to imagine giving up on a project like that, isn't it?
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