Here's a ridiculous song I have written.
After reading this article, I felt humanity was doing itself a disservice not having a theme song for this majestic creature of the sea who apparently likes soccer. So I immediately wrote one. Here are the lyrics:
People in the world today believe all kinds of stupid shit
Like healing crystals and horoscopes and transubstantiation
But me, I don't buy into any of that crap
I'm spreading the word about a new sensation
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
Invertebrate, but very good at predicting the outcome of sporting events
Nobody knows how he does it but he's almost always right
And that's proof enough to me that he's the second coming of Christ
He told me not to get on that plane and don't you know it crashed
He told me not to eat that roast beef and I got painful gas
He told me Global Warming was fake then we got all that snow
He told me not to drill for oil in the Gulf of Mexico
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
Ain't got no spine but don't you mind he knows the length and breadth of time
He always knows the winner no matter what game they play
And eventually he'll fight the Devil at the end of days
Cast your eyes down when you're standing at his tank
Cause if he looks you in the eyes he'll read your mind
And if he senses any evil in your heart
he'll use his telekinetic powers to pop your head just like a grape
So if you're drifting through this world without a purpose
Searching desperately for something to believe in
Just reach out with your heart and let his tentacles embrace it
Nothing ever can replace it
Baby you'll just have to face it
I believe in Paul the Psychic Octopus
I believe he gets his information straight from the mouth of the soccer god
And if somebody says he's just some stupid lame-brained cephalopod
I do believe I'll punch them in the throat
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